Dear The Internet,

You know it makes sense.

One of the simple joys about impending fatherhood, aside from hoping that my child will be born independently wealthy, has been responding to questions from friends, family and impertinent strangers as to whether or not we’ve settled on a name.

These have been the standard answers thus far, generally made while maintaining unblinking eye contact.

1. Smashmouth
2. Chewbacca
3. Optimus Steve
4. !!!
5. Doctor Professor
6. Voyager 3
7. Cthulhu
8. [The Full Name of the Person I’m Speaking To]
9. Gough
10. Andrew P Street II: The Streetening

At least three of them aren’t necessarily jokes. Can you guess which ones?

Yours ever,

APS